Kelly and Brooks

Okay, so now the question you're all waiting for....how do Kelly and Brooks get along?

Does this answer things?

I can't say that Kelly hasn't been bossy.  She makes a big, noisy scene and gets possessive over food. A crumb dropped on the floor. A tennis ball. Me. Especially me. She still is having a difficult time sharing.

But Brooks is one smart boy. He just stands there as if to say, "Whatever, girl." Or he walks away. He learns fast. He wants to stay.

I've learned too. I've learned not to get afraid and emotional while they work things out. I've learned that showing Brooks love and attention does not mean that I love Kelly any less. I've learned that Kelly can accept another dog.

And maybe, just maybe they'll become buddies. 

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The Two Dogs-- A Trainier's Expert Opinion

When we brought Moses into our home, sometimes things were beautiful with Kelly and Moses. They seemed to okay together. We loved having this beautiful sweet boy. Sometimes Kelly was territorial. I guess that's to be expected. It's tough to share your new home. And Moses had been in several homes recently. He probably felt a bit insecure.

Kelly reacted to sharing her food, toys and me. Moses growled back. Again, I understand both sides.  Sometimes they avoided each other, sometimes they played. Because Moses is so big, he sometimes played a bit rough for her. But not malicious. Kelly wasn't malicious either. She gave warning tussles, but never took it too far.  I think she was just not used to sharing. Once she approached him and tentatively stuck out her little pink tongue and tried to groom him. He wanted no part of that. He was the boss!

When they were separated, they barked and whined. Did they want to be together or not? I was confused.

So the rescue group, which has been amazingly supportive, sent over their trainer. Cyd entered, prepared with a squirt bottle of water and a pocket full of tiny treats. We put the two dogs on leashes and watched them interact.

When Kelly approached Moses, Cyd talked to her in positive, upbeat tone. When Moses tried to mount Kelly, Cyd talked to him in positive upbeat tones. Cyd has a wonderful way about her. I love that she is not correcting, scolding and harsh. I can tell at once that she is in tune with the dogs. Cyd observed keenly, and came to these conclusions:

1. Moses is dominant male
2. Kelly is dominant female
3. Kelly is protective of me
4. The house is on the small side and Moses is on the huge side, so it is hard for him to get away when they squabble.
5. Moses's mounting behavior shows that he wants to be dominant over Kelly
6. Moses will not submit to Kelly-- he won't roll over for her, or allow her to groom him

Cyd helped me understand the dogs' body language. She doesn't feel that they would hurt each other intentionally. But she does feel there is the potential for someone to get hurt, mainly because of the size difference, cramped quarters, and personalities. Would you recommend  this match? we asked. "I think Kelly really needs a submissive male," she said.

She gave us some tips for working on the situation:
1. Separate them with a baby gate, so they can see and interact through the gate.
2. Take them on lots of walks together
3. Relax and talk positively.


Next time: How did it work out?

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Moses and Kelly--two dog family

Last week I told you about adopting our beautiful golden retriever Moses. What a big love! I also promised you the answer to the question: what did Kelly think of this?

The short answer: "What the woof?!"

Knowing that our 10-year-old girl is a bit snippy with other dogs and was dominant with our previous yellow lab, we tried to do everything right to ensure the right match and a happy transition for all. First we set out to look for a medium sized submissive male.


 Then we met Moses.

Okay, not medium sized.

Not only is Moses overweight, but he's just plain BIG. We haven't had him weighed yet, but I'm guessing near 100 lbs. He's tall, counter height. And his paws are ginormous!

But, I figured, goldens are gentle giants. This is still okay.

We introduced Kelly and Moses at a park, a neutral location. Kelly wagged, seemed happy, her hackles didn't rise as they do sometimes when she sees a dog she doen't like. All good signs. Moses, too, seemed just fine with the idea. The match is made!

When we got home, they both seemed content enough. Mostly they avoided each other. Kelly seemed confused but willing to play along for a while. Moses was still a little shell-shocked from his recent transitions and was pretty quiet. He loves, loves, loves people and would let you pat him all day. He just looks at you and begs for more. They circled around each other. Kelly tested him a few times and he backed away. So far, so good. They hung out, slept on the floor in the same room during the day, and all was well.

 

At night we separated them, since we still felt unsure how they would do alone together. In the morning we took them on a nice walk around the block together. The walk was stressful, with Kelly pulling ahead so that she could be leader, and Moses moving fast and pulling. She didn't even feel she could stop long enough to pee, when she started to he would catch up and she'd take off again in a hurry.

At home, the dogs seemed okay together for the first day or so. When my husband left for work, and I was home alone with them, the trouble began. Kelly tested Moses a few times and scuffles ensued. Moses barked back and reacted, but neither dog seemed especially aggressive. Just trying to establish the rules. I responded by separating them, but I have to admit each scuffle shook me up. Not that they were constant...but they worried me. The atmosphere now became very stressful. I am fully aware that dogs can pick up on this. But it's no easy job to just "turn it off."

Now Moses is feeling more confident, he is becoming bolder with Kelly. He has a big personality, full of love and demanding attention, and also full of mischief! And he plays hard! Kelly is stressed, whining and returning to me for reassurance.


I've been taking care to feed them separately, but the next day Kelly got by me and snapped and barked at Moses while he was eating his breakfast. He barked back. I separated them but then I was really anxious! This set the tone for the rest of the day, with three more scuffles breaking out. I felt that Kelly felt she had to protect me from Moses. It was really sad for me, because I didn't want to project this fearful energy, but every time they got near each other I tensed up. It ended with me keeping them separate the rest of the day, which broke my heart.


Moses is a big boy and very bold. Kelly is a little girl and very possessive. Can she accept her new brother? Can I become calm? Even if I could, are these two dogs the right match? Is it too much stress for old, spoiled, queen of the house Kelly to be asked to adapt to a busy 100 pound bossy boy? Should we feel comfortable letting the two dogs work it out together?

Next time: What did the trainer say?

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