Introducing a New Dog. Kelly and Brooks Update

If you're like me, you look at that cute dog you see on the street or in the park, and even looking up dogs on Petfinder, dreaming about adding "just one more" dog to your family. But then...what about your resident dog? The one you love and pamper and take to the park, and have all that time together just the two of you? Will she welcome a playmate...or be jealous forever?

We struggled with this decision, and added 11 year old golden retriever Brooks to our family 3 months ago. We wanted to help save another dog, and we thought Kelly might enjoy a playmate. The transition hasn't been completely easy. At times I thought she'd never accept another dog. But now, at last, they are becoming friends.

Originally we had to keep them separate whenever we couldn't supervise them. Kelly barked and tussled whenever we gave Brooks attention, fed him, tried to give him a toy, or whenever he tried to enter our bedroom (which is also Kelly's bedroom). Now things are peaceful and happy! Here is how long it took to make some progress:

4 weeks- We kept Brooks on his nice comfy bed in the kitchen at night, but after 4 weeks we are finally able to let him sleep on a doggy bed alongside our bed. This was a huge step, as we never wanted him to feel separated from the family.  Kelly sleeps on a doggy bed on the opposite side of the bed. (It's a small bedroom, so walking space is tight, especially if anyone has to get up in the middle of the night!)

5 weeks- Brooks and Kelly could now eat in the same room. We still have to be vigilant, and keep the food dishes apart physically, but I no longer have to feed them separated by a closed door! Kelly occasionally tries to "help" Brooks with his dinner, but she no longer feels the need to  run up barking and push him away.

6 weeks- Play with toys. Toys remain the biggest problem still. Kelly is still extremely upset for Brooks to have any toy. The only toy she doesn't mind Brooks having is a tennis ball. Which is lucky, because it's Brooks' favorite. Any other toy still needs supervision to make sure that Kelly doesn't get possessive and grab it all away. Brooks is cautious about new toys, fearing that she'll not let him have it.

8 weeks- We are finally able to leave the two dogs alone together when we go out! Before we left them, we wanted to be certain they would be able to remain peaceful together when not under supervision. What a relief when this day finally came. I still wonder what they do when we're away. Today when I was returning from an outing, I sneaked up on them and peeked in the window of the door to see where they were while we were out...and there they both were, lying right in front of the door together!

Kelly and Brooks don't play together much, and they don't snuggle much, but they are learning to become friends. When I think about how far they've come, I feel really good. They are both wonderful, sweet dogs and we're so lucky they both share our home. I know it's difficult for Kelly to share, but I feel confident that they will both accept each other more and more as time goes on. We give them both individual love and attention, and take them on walks and romps together. Life is good!

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Are Dogs Jealous?

Watching Dad leave for work.

We just adopted 11-year old Brooks. He's a sweetheart, and I can't stop patting his soft golden head, hugging his neck, planting a kiss on the side of his nose. But every time I do, I glance over to Kelly eying me with what I perceive as a mixture of contempt and hurt. What are you doing patting HIM? You used to pat only ME. You must not love me anymore.

Of course I'm projecting my own emotions onto my dog. But seriously, do dogs feel jealousy? How traumatic is this for Kelly? Do some dogs prefer to be an only dog?  I've been watching them carefully to try to determine the answers.

First, some background. Kelly was about 1 year old when we adopted her. We had a senior yellow lab at the time. Kelly immediately made it known that she was the boss, and this old guy sleeping on his pillow didn't really need any food, water, toys or affection. It was all hers. Our lab, Hudson, accepted his place with dignity. We gave him lots of food, water, toys and affection anyway. And eventually Hudson and Kelly did become friends. But whenever we gave Hudson attention, Kelly always ran over and nudged her way between us and Hudson.

It's been 6 years or so since Hudson crossed over. Years of just us and Kelly. All the food. All the toys. All the love. And now here's Brooks.

At first Kelly reacted badly. Whenever Brooks got anywhere near us, she bristled, made a loud noisy show of barking and snapping, sometimes even pushed him away with her front paws on his back. I have to tell you that these displays scared me at first, and upset me. I felt bad for both dogs--Kelly for feeling displaced. Brooks for feeling unaccepted. How could I show them that I loved them both?

I was talking to my dear friend Shawnelle one night. Shawnelle has five sons. And she told me that when a new sibling joined the family she, too, wondered how the older boys would feel. Was there enough time, enough resources, enough love to go around? Would they resent the newest? But, she said, every time the boys' lives were enriched by the newest brother. It was a wonderful thing.

The dogs enjoy walking together.

I hope this is the way it will be for Kelly and Brooks. Right now they aren't quite buddies, but after two weeks, the scuffles have dissipated. I still feed them separately. Toys are played with in separate rooms for the time being. But they can play outside together, snooze in the same room, and get along without any fighting.

If you're looking at a new dog to join the family, here are some tips to consider:

* Gender
Kelly is female, Brooks is male. Opposite gender matches usually go better.
* Personality
Kelly is bossy. Brooks is laid-back. When Kelly asserts herself, Brooks defers to her. Two dogs who both want to be the boss can make for a stressful situation.
* Energy Levels
Kelly and Brooks are both older, and have similar energy levels. One isn't constantly being bothered by an active puppy. They both sleep a lot and don't have a lot of youthful crazies.

There are many challenges to adding a new dog to the family. Our schedule has changed. We have to come up with new ways to handle new situations. Get to know what situations might trigger new behaviors. But my biggest worry, could Kelly accept a new dog into the house, has been calmed.

When I pat Brooks, I still feel like Kelly is shooting me daggers. But maybe it's just me. I go over, kneel beside her, kiss the top of her head and tell her that she's still loved. Very, very much. I have enough love to go around. And they return so much love to me.

Kelly and Brooks. Brooks and Kelly. I'm so blessed to share my life with two special dogs.

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I'm Adopted!

I have some exciting news! I can officially announce, Kelly has a new brother!
MEET BROOKS!!

I'm feeling good here!

 

Hmm, do I see a squirrel out the window?

Some of you know that, sadly, things didn't work out when we brought home our first dog (I'm happy to report that Moses is doing great and happier than ever!). But we wanted to open our home to another dog so much, and --guess what? Peppertree Rescue came through!


Here are a few facts about Brooks:
*He is a male Golden Retriever
*He was abandoned by his former owners. We don't know how long he'd been on his own.
*The rescue group gave him the name of Parker, but we decided to change it to something that was special to us. A new start, a new name.
*He'd been in a rescue shelter for a year without anyone taking any interest in him
*He's got a skin condition on his back and belly and hematomas in his ears (allergies?)
*His fur on his back, hind legs and tail was shaved and is just now growing back nice
*He's 11 years old!

Life was tough before, but I don't need to worry anymore.

 

At first, my husband and I didn't want to consider an 11-year-old dog. I love senior dogs, but could I bear risking having my heart broken and possibly losing him after what could be a short time? All that emotional investment. And, who knows what kind of condition he was in after being abandoned? But my husband begged to meet him and once we met him, we just had to give him a second chance. It's pretty hard to meet a homeless dog and walk away....especially this face!

Won't you love me, please?

Technically, we have a few more days to complete the rescue group's two week trial period, and then Brooks will be officially adopted. But I can tell you right now, he's already a part of our family.

Speaking of which, I bet you are dying to know how Kelly is getting along with him? You'll have to tune in tomorrow to find out! But I promise you, this time now surprise endings. Brooks is here with us to stay.

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